She remembers a scene from her childhood in Slovenia when she was 8 or 9 years old. A group of children was playing in front of houses in a small Slovenian city. The play constituted joyful bodily activities.
Then a big car came to the place where they were playing. They were excited about this unexpected event, which brought about something new, unusual. Then a person in a white director dress came out and, after a few minutes, she saw her mom entering the car, which left the place.
The feeling of joy turned into sadness and loneliness. She felt alone as her mother was taken away and she felt alone as she was the only one whose mother was taken away. A fear of joy remained with her, as she knew joy could turn into sadness quite unexpectedly.
The memory of the scene is very vivid. To that, different layers of interpretation have been attached:
· a position of outsider in many situations
· a feeling of being betrayed
· assuming an attitude of resilience and relying on herself